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Still no job interviews, so what’s a girl to do? Well, best to get some great inspiration to keep away the out of work blues; first, one of my fabbest friends is a teacher so I told her about this fab offer from Lucky Voice – key workers get 2 free hours of singing like a cat’s chorus at this super glam karoaoke establishment – so we did and it was super fab…

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Take a look at this great cover – is he the new Elvis?

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Brush aside those frumpy fash mags and get hold of this super inspirational title, Wonderland, my top favourite magazine

And have you seen this great ad? It’s such a feel good few seconds, I think I’m going to have to dig out my old shell toes

And last but not least, spring is nearly here and that means, cherry blossom everywhere and I got these today from Graham and Green, so pretty and fluffy, they can’t help but bring a smile to my face – and don’t worry, I didn’t spend a penny, I had a £50 voucher to splurge…

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I found this fantastic video on Youtube and had to share – Fanny appears in a puff of smoke in a the kitchen of a newlywed housewife – it’s full of very bad pyschedelic sound effects and it’s hilarious from start to finish.

I have in my possession a very crusty and coveted old FC cookbook which I treasure as I delight in the ghoulish photography and nonsensical recipes. I’ve always wanted to be the 21st century Fanny Craddock and today, I think I’ve cracked it!

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Yep, it’s the school Cake Sale today and here’s our contribution – 18 high calorie garish globs finished with butter icing and sweets – yum. They’ll disappear in a minute. I’ve taken the traditional fairy cakes recipe and created these anarchic little treats in the style of gonzo cooking. Check the Gonzo cooking pages if you dare…

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Since last term, there’s been quite a build up to the S-E-X Education lessons for Year 4.  I’ve tried to explain a few things to Miniminx, but she’s tended to cover her ears and gawp in horror for most of it.

From the beginning of this term there’s been a change of attitude, Miniminx has been determined to be ‘cool’ about Sextucation, even though she hasn’t quite been able to separate the words yet as a way of avoiding saying the S word. In fact, cool has become emboldened into curiosity and she’s got a bit too bolshy for my liking, saying it’s time she started watching Sex and the City so she can learn about ‘it’! (Samantha’s antics are just too graphic – it’s non negotiable, it’s banned).

So Lesson 1 in Sexducation has been a source of much amusement in our household this week.  I know, I know, sex shouldn’t be a laughing matter but if you put 30 eight your olds in a class room and give them pictures of a naked male and female and ask them to label parts of the body, it’s going to be a recipe for hilarity.

I thought it best to wait until Miniminx decided she wanted to talk about it, but frankly, she couldn’t stop, she was holding back the laughter from the moment I picked her up from school. Having done the usual afterschool routine (in no particular order) homework, telly, dinner, bath and bed, it was time for story reading, but I could tell she was desperate to chat,

‘Mum can we talk about the Sexctucation lesson today?’  she asked, looking very impish.
‘Yes of course we can, tell me all about it’
‘Well, we had to label pictures of men and women with no clothes on!’
‘Oh, so what did you put and where?’
‘Um, privates, privates and the B-word’ she said
‘What’s the B-word’
‘I can’t say’
‘Boobies?’
‘No’
‘Boobs?’
‘no’
‘Bazonkers??’
‘No.’ and a very hushed whisper in my ear…’Breasts’
‘Oh, okay, that’s very grown up.’  Phew I thought, thank god for that, I thought she was going to say bollocks.

So, we go through that part with barely a snigger but by now, I know she’s dying to tell me what really happened and we both start lip pursing to suppress a giggle.

‘Well done bunny, so (ha hum, ha, cough, cough) what did everyone else write on the pictures? That must have been quite funny.’
‘Yeah Mum it was, it was REALLY funny. Some people wrote bits, and fanny, and boobies and willy!,’ by now the laughter is really kicking in, ‘and…BOBS! Someone spelt boobs wrong, so they wrote bobs. BOBS INSTEAD OF BOOBIES, BOBS, HE SPELT IT WRONG!’
By that point we both start laughing like hyenas, and every time we stop, Miniminx shouts ‘BITS and BOBS, FANNY, BITS AND BOBS!!!’ and we’re off shrieking again.

So there you have it, a lesson she’ll never forget (neither will I) and now we call ‘it’ fanny, bits and bobs…

But of course, kids are very creative and Miniminx tells me on the way home yesterday that they’ve got a new thing in class, ‘Mum, we don’t say S-E-X anymore, it’s Seban Eats Xylophones.’

‘Who’s Seban?’
‘A boy in my class’

Poor kid I think…(!)

If that doesn’t get you laughing, I’ll give you £10 if you can watch this and keep a straight face

and a shamrock if this doesn’t work either

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All in all, it’s been a pretty good week so far – I’m over the moon to be listed on Alpha Mummy – and I’m really looking forward to a fantastic weekend which won’t really end until Tuesday. Three birthday parties and my own belated birthday present – a trip to see a show. One of my greatest friends takes me to the theatre every year for my birthday and we go next week, I never know what we’re seeing until we get there.

I’m taking it easy today and will be lolloping on the sofa as I did a major work out with my personal trainer yesterday, he may be fit but I look more like this at the gym…

I got a bit of a knock back today. I’ve been rejected at first stage for a freelance job (that means on sight of CV in my world) because I’m not relevant. Well, that’s a bit of lie actually, I’m just being melodramatic…other people are more relevant apparently. From what I gather, there are just too many candidates around for too few jobs. I did the old peashooter/moon trick again yesterday (that’s what I call uploading your CV to apply for a corporate job…see here). I’m spending my days following up on job options and there’s nothing at my level around, I’m overqualified for what’s out there or too restricted by the commute. I simply refuse to spend three hours commuting and missing out on seeing my wonderful Miniminx.

As usual at this time of day, when I’ve exhausted the usual avenues of searching for work, I’m left wondering what I’m going to do. I need some inspiration as I feel like I’m going round in circles at the moment. Do I just start up my own business and dump the career and do my own thing?
Or do I just tough out the next few months? I’ve got some options up my sleeve at least but for now I’m going to get creative again and finish my collage…it could be a good career move!

On days like these, this is the song that always lifts my spirits – INNER CITY BLUES, MARVIN GAYE – I found it on youtube…go on, have a listen, I might just have to play it again, it’s just brilliant, the lyrics resonate completely with our times even though the track was released in 1971

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